This might be a cultural thing but in the UK/US/Canada, a purely negative note from a superior/mentor/advisor (or even friendly peer) feels really really bad.
I really strongly suggest if you are a leader or mentor, to always end a message on a sincerely positive note.
So a version of this is also known as a “shit sandwich”, and it’s not clear to me that it is an effective pattern. In particular, it seems plausible that it only works a limited number of times before people start to notice and develop an aversion to it. I personally find it fairly irritating/annoying.
I think there’s a pattern where being pro forma or insincere is really bad.
But it seems low cost and valuable to add a sincere note saying:
“I really liked your motivation and effort and I think there’s potential from you. I like [this thing about you]...I think you can really help in [this way].”
Which is what you want right? And believe right? Otherwise why spend time writing feedback.
Mentees and junior people can be pretty fragile and it can really affect them.
Like, it’s not a high probability but there are letters or even phrases that someone will remember for years.
This might be a cultural thing but in the UK/US/Canada, a purely negative note from a superior/mentor/advisor (or even friendly peer) feels really really bad.
I really strongly suggest if you are a leader or mentor, to always end a message on a sincerely positive note.
I think there’s a pattern where being pro forma or insincere is really bad.
But it seems low cost and valuable to add a sincere note saying:
“I really liked your motivation and effort and I think there’s potential from you. I like [this thing about you]...I think you can really help in [this way].”
Which is what you want right? And believe right? Otherwise why spend time writing feedback.
Mentees and junior people can be pretty fragile and it can really affect them.
Like, it’s not a high probability but there are letters or even phrases that someone will remember for years.
Thanks for the comment. Any thoughts on Linch’s comment below?
Thanks for the reply.
I think both your main post and Linch’s comment are both very valuable, thoughtful contributions.
I agree that such direct advice is under supplied. Your experiences/suggestions should be taken seriously and is a big contribution.
I don’t have anything substantive to add.