None of them walked away with your conclusions. The response from within EA forum, the people who can take action from within, was a completely different distribution. You’re interpreting my post, not as it is written, but as it is implied to you. But I am only responsible for what I say, not what you think I said.
Ultimately, no action was taken on my post and EA remains unsafe, partly because of you.
Do you think that the EA community would be safer if fewer people in it were polyamorous? That was the impression I got from your post, but I’m willing to be corrected. You didn’t mention polyamory in the Twitter thread, but you did in the post (I counted about 5 times in the first paragraph). This gave me the strong impression that you think polyamory is closely linked to the predatory behaviour you witnessed.
I don’t think I’m responsible for EA being unsafe.
Do you think that the EA community would be safer if fewer people in it were polyamorous? - I am not going to give a moral lecture on what people should do with their sexual choices, it’s up to them.
The men who abused me were poly, the dynamics of poly are important for amplifying their harmful reach. They’re using polyamory to legitimize reaching a wider number of victims, and they’re piggybacking on EA’s compelling call for impact to meet and discover new victims.
If a poly man asks me out respectfully because they did not know I was mono, I say no and they accept my decision. No harm, no foul. This is not what happened.
If people are not respecting your no, that’s not acceptable, but I’m not really sure what their poly status has to do with it (any more than their nationality, their job, the fact that they play video games, or whatever). I don’t think poly ‘legitimizes’ reaching a wider number of victims—being willing to date multiple people doesn’t give you a right to cross others’ boundaries. I suspect that in communities less friendly to polyamory, these predators would just stay single, or cheat on their partners.
If a poly man asks me out respectfully because they did not know I was mono, I say no and they accept my decision. No harm, no foul. This is not what happened.
It sounds like your issue isn’t with polyamory in principle, but with people who don’t respect you / your boundaries? I think the EA community would be safer if there were fewer people who didn’t respect other people’s boundaries, irrespective of whether they were mono/poly.
Amber, I also shared this on twitter and this is the response I got: https://twitter.com/keerthanpg/status/1591515890109255680?s=20&t=WobT4rLWtpPRSOryCTlDxw
None of them walked away with your conclusions. The response from within EA forum, the people who can take action from within, was a completely different distribution. You’re interpreting my post, not as it is written, but as it is implied to you. But I am only responsible for what I say, not what you think I said.
Ultimately, no action was taken on my post and EA remains unsafe, partly because of you.
Do you think that the EA community would be safer if fewer people in it were polyamorous? That was the impression I got from your post, but I’m willing to be corrected. You didn’t mention polyamory in the Twitter thread, but you did in the post (I counted about 5 times in the first paragraph). This gave me the strong impression that you think polyamory is closely linked to the predatory behaviour you witnessed.
I don’t think I’m responsible for EA being unsafe.
Do you think that the EA community would be safer if fewer people in it were polyamorous? - I am not going to give a moral lecture on what people should do with their sexual choices, it’s up to them.
The men who abused me were poly, the dynamics of poly are important for amplifying their harmful reach. They’re using polyamory to legitimize reaching a wider number of victims, and they’re piggybacking on EA’s compelling call for impact to meet and discover new victims.
If a poly man asks me out respectfully because they did not know I was mono, I say no and they accept my decision. No harm, no foul. This is not what happened.
If people are not respecting your no, that’s not acceptable, but I’m not really sure what their poly status has to do with it (any more than their nationality, their job, the fact that they play video games, or whatever). I don’t think poly ‘legitimizes’ reaching a wider number of victims—being willing to date multiple people doesn’t give you a right to cross others’ boundaries. I suspect that in communities less friendly to polyamory, these predators would just stay single, or cheat on their partners.
It sounds like your issue isn’t with polyamory in principle, but with people who don’t respect you / your boundaries? I think the EA community would be safer if there were fewer people who didn’t respect other people’s boundaries, irrespective of whether they were mono/poly.
Correct. I had mentioned in my post it was not a criticism of polyamory that is practiced consensually and without conflicts of interest.