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I appreciate you being so honest here, N.I. The small beauties of nature can indeed help ground us in the world. I’m reminded of:

For many years, at great cost, I traveled through many countries, saw the high mountains, the boundless oceans. The only things I did not see were the sparkling dewdrops in the grass just outside my door.
—Rabindranath Tagore

And:

But I have forgotten one thing—the singing!
There was such a lot of singing in the villages then,
and this was my pleasure, too.
Boys sang in the fields,
and at night we all met at the pub and sang.
The chapels were full of singing.
When the war came,
it was singing, singing all the time.
So I lie; I have had pleasure.
I have had singing.”
—Ronald Blythe in Akenfield

Noticing and savoring the small pleasures of life is a skill. I invite you to keep practicing it. ❤️

One more thing. Robin Dunbar—biological anthropologist and evolutionary psychologist —noted in his book Friends:

When our ancestors needed to increase the size of our social groups during the course of later human evolution, we had to find some way of extending our grooming circle proportionately. Increasing the time devoted to grooming was [not feasible]. The only realistic alternative was to use what time we had available more efficiently… We discovered several ways of triggering the endorphin system using behaviors that allowed us to engage in virtual grooming at a distance such that we could—in effect—groom several people simultaneously. These include laughter, singing and dancing, feasting, storytelling, and the rituals of religion, probably in that order.”

I invite you to engage in one or more of these activities with others. I personally go to stand-up comedy shows, listen to The Moth radio hour and audiobooks, and sing in a community choir. It all helps keep my demons at bay.

I do feel called to address the big story (that’s also usually what makes me sad and worn out), but, like you, what really brings me back is little stuff like a beautiful flower or seeing a hummingbird.

Yes, I went to therapy in earnest for 9 years. In my last year—once I was doing much better—I was certified as a crisis counselor (Crisis Text Line). I did that for a year before moving on to professional coaching. I still have an account on 7 Cups and sign in to have conversations from time to time.

The training was excellent. I recommend everyone take similar training: mental health first aid, compassionate listening, crisis counseling, peer support… It can help you support others, but also give you more context on the kind of support you might need and receive.

I have had bad experiences with therapists, and I’ve heard even worse stories. My advice: don’t take it personally, don’t dwell on it, and move forward to finding someone supportive.

LLMs can be helpful but they should only be used as supplemental resources. Ultimately the foundational skill I learned in therapy is how to have an honest, vulnerable, face-to-face conversation with another human being. It was relationship skills training. I don’t believe LLMs are currently capable of giving that same experience.