This is one of those circumstances where changing the phrase would likely mean avoiding the issue. I agree that we don’t want people to be unfeeling automatons and that there are circumstances when expressing even “negative” emotions like anger can be positive. At the same time, the idea that different people have different levels of emotional control seems to be a very useful model, even if it doesn’t perfectly describe reality (ie. context-dependence). You’ve already noted that some behaviours put a burden on most people—having low levels of emotional control/being ideological falls inside this category.
I’ll note one argument that you could have put forward: possibly low levels of emotional control is correlated with positive characteristics, such as creativity or the ability to be enthusiastic or authentic. So perhaps a filter on this quality would be net negative.
I’m not sure what you mean by ‘low emotional control.’ Are you talking about people who can’t control their reactions, or who can but find it tiring, or who can but choose not to?
I’m very emotional, but if someone’s rude to me in the context of a government negotiation, no one would be able to tell I even heard the insult (depending—in some contexts it’s strategic to assert yourself and set boundaries).
If someone’s rude to me in a social context, though, they’re going to get an earful! I don’t get paid to take your crap, so when someone insults me, either they’re going to hear about it or I’m going to leave.
So… Is that a low level of emotional control, or a high level of emotional control? What exactly are you referring to?
This is one of those circumstances where changing the phrase would likely mean avoiding the issue. I agree that we don’t want people to be unfeeling automatons and that there are circumstances when expressing even “negative” emotions like anger can be positive. At the same time, the idea that different people have different levels of emotional control seems to be a very useful model, even if it doesn’t perfectly describe reality (ie. context-dependence). You’ve already noted that some behaviours put a burden on most people—having low levels of emotional control/being ideological falls inside this category.
I’ll note one argument that you could have put forward: possibly low levels of emotional control is correlated with positive characteristics, such as creativity or the ability to be enthusiastic or authentic. So perhaps a filter on this quality would be net negative.
I’m not sure what you mean by ‘low emotional control.’ Are you talking about people who can’t control their reactions, or who can but find it tiring, or who can but choose not to?
I’m very emotional, but if someone’s rude to me in the context of a government negotiation, no one would be able to tell I even heard the insult (depending—in some contexts it’s strategic to assert yourself and set boundaries).
If someone’s rude to me in a social context, though, they’re going to get an earful! I don’t get paid to take your crap, so when someone insults me, either they’re going to hear about it or I’m going to leave.
So… Is that a low level of emotional control, or a high level of emotional control? What exactly are you referring to?