Some evolutionary psychologists such as Randy Nesse and Paul Gilbert have offered some useful perspectives on depression, feelings of worthlessness, and suicidal impulses.
A common theme is that our brains evolved to process social cues of our net helpfulness versus burdensomeness towards close family, friends, and clan (NOT towards humanity as a whole, or towards all future sentient beings in the light cone).
If we feel like a net burden to the people closest to us, we often feel quite low; if we feel useful and like we’re adding value to their lives, that’s quite protective against depression.
So, it might be quite difficult to ‘hack’ our mood psychology just by trying to convince ourselves that we’ve saved X number of lives in the abstract, and that therefore this makes us worthy. Instead, it might be more effective to try to engage more with those closest and most salient to us—housemates, workmates, siblings, parents, kids, old friends, etc. And often the most mood-lifting thing is not to ask these people for help, but rather to offer them help in whatever specific things they’re trying to accomplish.
Interesting perspective! I have definitely noticed how mood-lifting it can be to help others, especially if it is something I can do easily (such as translating a phrase to a coworker from a language they don’t speak).
I also notice I am somewhat wary of using helping close ones as a form of emotional regulation because I’ve seen a fair share of co-dependency issues of different levels. Mostly in the form where someone gets closer to a person who is not doing that well, tries to take care of them and ends up in a space where their own mood is largely dictated by how the loved one feels. I’m wondering if that also has some roots in evolutionary psychology or if it is just “overdoing” the method you suggested.
Ada-Maaria—this is generally good advice.
Some evolutionary psychologists such as Randy Nesse and Paul Gilbert have offered some useful perspectives on depression, feelings of worthlessness, and suicidal impulses.
A common theme is that our brains evolved to process social cues of our net helpfulness versus burdensomeness towards close family, friends, and clan (NOT towards humanity as a whole, or towards all future sentient beings in the light cone).
If we feel like a net burden to the people closest to us, we often feel quite low; if we feel useful and like we’re adding value to their lives, that’s quite protective against depression.
So, it might be quite difficult to ‘hack’ our mood psychology just by trying to convince ourselves that we’ve saved X number of lives in the abstract, and that therefore this makes us worthy. Instead, it might be more effective to try to engage more with those closest and most salient to us—housemates, workmates, siblings, parents, kids, old friends, etc. And often the most mood-lifting thing is not to ask these people for help, but rather to offer them help in whatever specific things they’re trying to accomplish.
Great tip, Geoffrey—hadn’t heard this before, look forward to trying it.
Interesting perspective! I have definitely noticed how mood-lifting it can be to help others, especially if it is something I can do easily (such as translating a phrase to a coworker from a language they don’t speak).
I also notice I am somewhat wary of using helping close ones as a form of emotional regulation because I’ve seen a fair share of co-dependency issues of different levels. Mostly in the form where someone gets closer to a person who is not doing that well, tries to take care of them and ends up in a space where their own mood is largely dictated by how the loved one feels. I’m wondering if that also has some roots in evolutionary psychology or if it is just “overdoing” the method you suggested.