Not so much “buying my way out of conflict”, but still “using money to reduce feelings of burnout”:
In my experience, people who are overworked tend to go to extremes. They’ll eat too much or skip meals; they’ll sleep until noon or stay up all night; they’ll spend money impulsively or practice frugality to the point of deprivation.
I have a balance of self-indulgent and self-sacrificing tendencies, but I’ve substantially reduced the burden of the former by reframing my “indulgences” to “treating myself nicely”.
In this new outlook, I’m not “wasting money on fast food”; I’m “buying myself a nice meal to pay myself back for a long night of work”. I’m not “drinking too much caffeine to force myself awake”, I’m “gifting myself a soda to help me face the work with good cheer”.
I can imagine this being dangerous (it’s a cliche that people addicted to alcohol find reasons to “deserve” another drink), but it’s worked well for me; instead of feeling bad about two things (my work *and* my indulgence), I now feel bad about half of a thing (my work, tempered by self-care).
I also tried this strategy as a tutor and found that it worked well. Students who were used to being pressured by their parents were surprised when I told them to treat themselves well the night before and the day after an SAT: “Tell your parents that Aaron said you deserve a break” was an effective tool for stress reduction.
Not so much “buying my way out of conflict”, but still “using money to reduce feelings of burnout”:
In my experience, people who are overworked tend to go to extremes. They’ll eat too much or skip meals; they’ll sleep until noon or stay up all night; they’ll spend money impulsively or practice frugality to the point of deprivation.
I have a balance of self-indulgent and self-sacrificing tendencies, but I’ve substantially reduced the burden of the former by reframing my “indulgences” to “treating myself nicely”.
In this new outlook, I’m not “wasting money on fast food”; I’m “buying myself a nice meal to pay myself back for a long night of work”. I’m not “drinking too much caffeine to force myself awake”, I’m “gifting myself a soda to help me face the work with good cheer”.
I can imagine this being dangerous (it’s a cliche that people addicted to alcohol find reasons to “deserve” another drink), but it’s worked well for me; instead of feeling bad about two things (my work *and* my indulgence), I now feel bad about half of a thing (my work, tempered by self-care).
I also tried this strategy as a tutor and found that it worked well. Students who were used to being pressured by their parents were surprised when I told them to treat themselves well the night before and the day after an SAT: “Tell your parents that Aaron said you deserve a break” was an effective tool for stress reduction.