I think there is value in trying to write a more agreeable version of this case, but in particular I think “People have a personal responsibility to tell others to stop what they’re doing if they don’t feel like they want others to do those things” is just not most people’s understanding of consent let alone randomly telling someone sexually explicit stuff.
I think ‘randomly’ doesn’t apply here. Owen had multiple conversations with the person about ‘edgy’ things, including sexual things, including masturbation.
Suppose I have a friend who sometimes talks to me about masturbation, and with whom I sometimes talk to about masturbation. Suppose one day, my friend said that they were uncomfortable all along, I would find that regrettable, but I don’t think it’s my fault they didn’t speak up previously.
I don’t how much ‘soft power’ Owen was supposed to have 5 years ago (by being older and more involved in the community). While it’s regrettable if someone pretended to be comfortable while actually being uncomfortable, it’s unclear to me that the perception of ‘soft power’ would matter so much that one cannot speak up.
I think there is value in trying to write a more agreeable version of this case, but in particular I think “People have a personal responsibility to tell others to stop what they’re doing if they don’t feel like they want others to do those things” is just not most people’s understanding of consent let alone randomly telling someone sexually explicit stuff.
I think ‘randomly’ doesn’t apply here. Owen had multiple conversations with the person about ‘edgy’ things, including sexual things, including masturbation.
Suppose I have a friend who sometimes talks to me about masturbation, and with whom I sometimes talk to about masturbation. Suppose one day, my friend said that they were uncomfortable all along, I would find that regrettable, but I don’t think it’s my fault they didn’t speak up previously.
I think it’s worth dialing it back a bit and trying again. Thank you for trying to present an unpopular view.
The hail of disagreevotes is probably due to your original comment not recognizing the power dynamics at play in Owen’s situation.
I don’t how much ‘soft power’ Owen was supposed to have 5 years ago (by being older and more involved in the community). While it’s regrettable if someone pretended to be comfortable while actually being uncomfortable, it’s unclear to me that the perception of ‘soft power’ would matter so much that one cannot speak up.