Thanks for bravely sharing this. I’m really sorry to hear what you’ve been through.
This passage resonated with me:
Last week at EAG, I received a Swapcard message that proposed a non-platonic interaction under the guise of professional interaction. I went to an afterparty where someone I had just met—literally introduced to me moments before—put their hand on the small of my back and grabbed and held onto my arm multiple times. These might seem like minor annoyances, but I have heard and experienced that these kinds of small moments happen often to women in EA. These kinds of experiences undermine my own feelings of comfort and value in the community.
This kind of stuff has happened to me too. Each incident has felt too minor to do anything about, primarily because if I did, I’d then have to think about it as a Bad Thing That Happened, rather than an awkward interaction; something to forget. So there is a death-by-a-thousand-cuts element to all of this, where no individual interaction has risen to the level of wanting to make a fuss, but in combination, these things change how I perceive myself in EA spaces (more male gaze-y) and how I act (a bit more guarded).
And then I felt sad reading what followed:
This might be anecdata, as some people say, and I know obtaining robust data on these issues has its own challenges.
Because it felt as if you were writing for a reader who might be inclined to doubt you. (Sorry if I am projecting; it’s just that some people have raised this sort of objection.) So I just want to say: I think that in the context of an issue that is notoriously hard to study (as you note), our experiences—and the experiences of the many other women who have shared their stories—do provide strong evidence of an important, systemic issue. Thanks again for speaking up.
Thanks for bravely sharing this. I’m really sorry to hear what you’ve been through.
This passage resonated with me:
This kind of stuff has happened to me too. Each incident has felt too minor to do anything about, primarily because if I did, I’d then have to think about it as a Bad Thing That Happened, rather than an awkward interaction; something to forget. So there is a death-by-a-thousand-cuts element to all of this, where no individual interaction has risen to the level of wanting to make a fuss, but in combination, these things change how I perceive myself in EA spaces (more male gaze-y) and how I act (a bit more guarded).
And then I felt sad reading what followed:
Because it felt as if you were writing for a reader who might be inclined to doubt you. (Sorry if I am projecting; it’s just that some people have raised this sort of objection.) So I just want to say: I think that in the context of an issue that is notoriously hard to study (as you note), our experiences—and the experiences of the many other women who have shared their stories—do provide strong evidence of an important, systemic issue. Thanks again for speaking up.