A c0uple of thoughts and I am happy to expand further.
First, I like 80k’s framing of EA as a career. This means that you as a family probably do not want EA values to affect family decision making too heavily, much like a banker would not charge high consumption loan interest to her spouse if she paid for their coffee. I think my partner feels similarly to you and I frame my EA engagements as work. This means that when it becomes time to help around the house, I leave my work after a reasonable number of hours spent and become a “non-EA family member” instead.
Secondly, and as I think others who commented here alludes to, if your partner is “deep EA”, he would actually really invest in your well-being and be very cautious to jeopardize the relationship by bringing “work” into it. This is because in EA we are playing the long game, we have an ambition to spend all 80k hours of our careers effectively doing work, year after year. And this requires a foundation that lets us do this consistently and at high quality, and for me this foundation consists of:
-Family and friends
-Mental health
-Sleep
-Physical health
-Sound personal finances
And I listed family and friends on top, because having their support, especially during hard times, is for many of us a great source of strength.
My partner and I also go to what we call “preventative family counselling”—it is not a bad idea to just go and see someone quite early on, before there is perhaps “something” to talk about.
A c0uple of thoughts and I am happy to expand further.
First, I like 80k’s framing of EA as a career. This means that you as a family probably do not want EA values to affect family decision making too heavily, much like a banker would not charge high consumption loan interest to her spouse if she paid for their coffee. I think my partner feels similarly to you and I frame my EA engagements as work. This means that when it becomes time to help around the house, I leave my work after a reasonable number of hours spent and become a “non-EA family member” instead.
Secondly, and as I think others who commented here alludes to, if your partner is “deep EA”, he would actually really invest in your well-being and be very cautious to jeopardize the relationship by bringing “work” into it. This is because in EA we are playing the long game, we have an ambition to spend all 80k hours of our careers effectively doing work, year after year. And this requires a foundation that lets us do this consistently and at high quality, and for me this foundation consists of:
-Family and friends
-Mental health
-Sleep
-Physical health
-Sound personal finances
And I listed family and friends on top, because having their support, especially during hard times, is for many of us a great source of strength.
My partner and I also go to what we call “preventative family counselling”—it is not a bad idea to just go and see someone quite early on, before there is perhaps “something” to talk about.
Should perhaps have included this, but the below is a good resource I have used where you can search for “family counselling” or whichever term they used: https://www.eamentalhealthnavigator.com/recommended-providers