Second: As a poly EA, I’m more likely to bother to show up for things if I think I might get laid. It increases engagement and community cohesion.
I upvoted the comment for sharing a relevant point of view, but I personally care most about an EA community where people obsess over ideas and taking action to make the world better. So, anything that attracts people for other reasons is something I see as a risk (dilution of quality). I’m not sure it’s that important to draw in lots of casually interested people (definitely not saying you fit that description – I’m just talking about the part of “increases engagement”).
To be clear, I know some poly people or people who “sleep around” who seem as serious about EA as it gets, so I’m not saying one can’t have both.
That said, the most committed EAs I know who “sleep around” mostly do so outside of EA because they’ve decided doing it within EA has more risks than benefits and they attend EA events for impact rather than socially. (And my guess is that the most committed EAs who are poly pursue more serious poly relationships rather than lots of casual ones – but I don’t actually know.)
So, there’s a sense in which I totally agree with the OP. I just don’t think it’s a good idea to try to do anything about this from top down. One thing we can do from the bottom up is socially encourage people for being highly dedicated and impact-oriented. (People tend to notice when someone has a high opinion of them and finds their attitude impressive.)
Edit: I guess one point that made me much more sympathetic toward the view that casual dating is not in tension with high dedication to (the moral inspiration of) EA is that several commenters mentioned that some of their best long-term relationships started casually. If that’s the case for someone (that pursuing casual relationships is one of the best ways for finding long-term relationship happiness), then that’s of course different!
I upvoted the comment for sharing a relevant point of view, but I personally care most about an EA community where people obsess over ideas and taking action to make the world better. So, anything that attracts people for other reasons is something I see as a risk (dilution of quality). I’m not sure it’s that important to draw in lots of casually interested people (definitely not saying you fit that description – I’m just talking about the part of “increases engagement”).
To be clear, I know some poly people or people who “sleep around” who seem as serious about EA as it gets, so I’m not saying one can’t have both.
That said, the most committed EAs I know who “sleep around” mostly do so outside of EA because they’ve decided doing it within EA has more risks than benefits and they attend EA events for impact rather than socially. (And my guess is that the most committed EAs who are poly pursue more serious poly relationships rather than lots of casual ones – but I don’t actually know.)
So, there’s a sense in which I totally agree with the OP. I just don’t think it’s a good idea to try to do anything about this from top down. One thing we can do from the bottom up is socially encourage people for being highly dedicated and impact-oriented. (People tend to notice when someone has a high opinion of them and finds their attitude impressive.)
Edit: I guess one point that made me much more sympathetic toward the view that casual dating is not in tension with high dedication to (the moral inspiration of) EA is that several commenters mentioned that some of their best long-term relationships started casually. If that’s the case for someone (that pursuing casual relationships is one of the best ways for finding long-term relationship happiness), then that’s of course different!