Would it leave most of the benefit? If men (the gender who, at this point in time, initiates the most) stop initiating, I imagine a number of good relationships will not be born at all.
As has been discussed quite commonly elsewhere on this topic, the goal of the effective altruism movement is to improve the world. Not to make effective altruists happy or get them laid/married etc.
Yes relationships can be good and help build social ties, but OP clearly isn’t saying people shouldn’t date at all, just that they shouldn’t casually date. I think a trade off of less relationships on the margin for less sexual harassment assault and more women In EA is a fine trade off to make.
On top of this it’s not healthy to have your entire social support system within EA, and this will help prevent that too.
You’re reading more into my comment than I intended. I don’t disagree with you—I was just correcting what I believed to be a wrong deduction. If we try to create new norms, it’s good to make sure that we have accurate trade-offs in mind.
Currently in the poll comment I did, the balance of people think we should adopt the Original Poster’s suggestion. Mine would still allow for a lot of sexual activity to take place. It is clearly less limiting. It’s still a massive norm and I don’t love it, but it’s better than a ban. It feels unfair (and plain mistaken) that many people disagreed with my comment and then agree with your criticism even though my proposal is less onerous than OP’s.
If you all hate my idea surely you must hate OP’s more, so go disagreevote with it in the poll comment below.
If somehow you like OPs suggestion but hate mine, I’m confused.
Do you think people might simply not have seen your poll? (and don’t understand that by “my suggestion” you’re referring to an actual poll). We’re replying to what is currently the top comment, that might give our comments more visibility.
I’ll signal-boost your poll in my comment above—even if to be clear I disagree with both the poster’s and your suggestions.
Edit: can’t find the actual comment in which you have this particular poll, if you share the link with me I’m happy to add it to comment above
I disagreed with your comment (despite obviously agreeing with my own post), so let me explain why. First (as I describe here), I think your proposal may actually increase uncomfortability and awkwardness, which is what the post was largely written to address. Second (as I described to Jeff here), I think dating within EA doesn’t necessarily involve the issues I’m concerned with, and I think your proposal would decrease dating within EA more than mine would. Third, I think your proposal would involve spending weirdness points, while mine would involve saving weirdness points.
Also, for clarity’s sake to address the comment “it’s better than a ban”, I’m not proposing an externally imposed ban. I think an explicit ban would be harmful and I do not endorse one.
Would it leave most of the benefit? If men (the gender who, at this point in time, initiates the most) stop initiating, I imagine a number of good relationships will not be born at all.
As has been discussed quite commonly elsewhere on this topic, the goal of the effective altruism movement is to improve the world. Not to make effective altruists happy or get them laid/married etc.
Yes relationships can be good and help build social ties, but OP clearly isn’t saying people shouldn’t date at all, just that they shouldn’t casually date. I think a trade off of less relationships on the margin for less sexual harassment assault and more women In EA is a fine trade off to make.
On top of this it’s not healthy to have your entire social support system within EA, and this will help prevent that too.
You’re reading more into my comment than I intended. I don’t disagree with you—I was just correcting what I believed to be a wrong deduction. If we try to create new norms, it’s good to make sure that we have accurate trade-offs in mind.
I feel the upvotes here are very unfair.
Currently in the poll comment I did, the balance of people think we should adopt the Original Poster’s suggestion. Mine would still allow for a lot of sexual activity to take place. It is clearly less limiting. It’s still a massive norm and I don’t love it, but it’s better than a ban. It feels unfair (and plain mistaken) that many people disagreed with my comment and then agree with your criticism even though my proposal is less onerous than OP’s.
If you all hate my idea surely you must hate OP’s more, so go disagreevote with it in the poll comment below.
If somehow you like OPs suggestion but hate mine, I’m confused.
Do you think people might simply not have seen your poll? (and don’t understand that by “my suggestion” you’re referring to an actual poll). We’re replying to what is currently the top comment, that might give our comments more visibility.
I’ll signal-boost your poll in my comment above—even if to be clear I disagree with both the poster’s and your suggestions.
Edit: can’t find the actual comment in which you have this particular poll, if you share the link with me I’m happy to add it to comment above
Oh that’s because Jeff and I were talking before everyone else turned up
I disagreed with your comment (despite obviously agreeing with my own post), so let me explain why. First (as I describe here), I think your proposal may actually increase uncomfortability and awkwardness, which is what the post was largely written to address. Second (as I described to Jeff here), I think dating within EA doesn’t necessarily involve the issues I’m concerned with, and I think your proposal would decrease dating within EA more than mine would. Third, I think your proposal would involve spending weirdness points, while mine would involve saving weirdness points.
Also, for clarity’s sake to address the comment “it’s better than a ban”, I’m not proposing an externally imposed ban. I think an explicit ban would be harmful and I do not endorse one.