So I think that this post is best seen as an emotional declaration, rather than an argument or reasoned case for/against EA. I’m going to split up my response into two comments, one about the emotional side, I’ll leave the more philosophical engagement for a second one.
Your pathway from engagement to burnout is one that many EAs suffered from. I’m very sorry you suffered through it, for the damage it caused you, that people didn’t notice these signs and/or that you didn’t let yourself notice them until it was too late. I’m very happy that you are a lot more happy and effective now, that matters.
Some posts/threads that might resonate with you, as many people in/related to the community have grappled with this (or a similar) problem:
Qiaochu Yuan—Here’s a thread where he describes moving away from the ‘totalising’ ideas of AI Safety that had taken over his life
All this to say, other people have gone what you’ve gone through. Some people have made a bargain with the totalising aspect of EA, others have just left the whole thing, while a few have become radicalised enemies of EA (looks like you might be that camp?).
I hope that part of “Third Wave EA” can be about finally showing how naïve totalism isn’t entailed, even instrumentally, by the movement, and also just about being more warm and welcoming and supportive to people, especially when they’re struggling in the way that you were.
As for the object-level stuff in this post, I disagree with a lot of it (and I’ll write that separately), but I don’t think that’s as important as what I wrote in this comment.
Regardless of anything else, and most importantly above all, I’m glad you’re doing better.
So I think that this post is best seen as an emotional declaration, rather than an argument or reasoned case for/against EA. I’m going to split up my response into two comments, one about the emotional side, I’ll leave the more philosophical engagement for a second one.
Your pathway from engagement to burnout is one that many EAs suffered from. I’m very sorry you suffered through it, for the damage it caused you, that people didn’t notice these signs and/or that you didn’t let yourself notice them until it was too late. I’m very happy that you are a lot more happy and effective now, that matters.
Some posts/threads that might resonate with you, as many people in/related to the community have grappled with this (or a similar) problem:
You have more than one goal, and that’s fine
Effective altruism in the garden of ends
The Nietzschean Challenge to Effective Altruism
Things I didn’t feel that guilty about before getting involved in effective altruism
My bargain with the EA machine
(You could also try reading Larissa MacFarquhar’s Stranger’s Drowning)
There are two EA-Twitter-adjacent personalities who you probably are aware of, but if not will sympathise with a lot (i’ve picked a thread for each):
Nick Cammarata—Here’s a thread saying he’s “antiea radicalised” because it caused harm to his friends
Qiaochu Yuan—Here’s a thread where he describes moving away from the ‘totalising’ ideas of AI Safety that had taken over his life
All this to say, other people have gone what you’ve gone through. Some people have made a bargain with the totalising aspect of EA, others have just left the whole thing, while a few have become radicalised enemies of EA (looks like you might be that camp?).
I hope that part of “Third Wave EA” can be about finally showing how naïve totalism isn’t entailed, even instrumentally, by the movement, and also just about being more warm and welcoming and supportive to people, especially when they’re struggling in the way that you were.
As for the object-level stuff in this post, I disagree with a lot of it (and I’ll write that separately), but I don’t think that’s as important as what I wrote in this comment.
Regardless of anything else, and most importantly above all, I’m glad you’re doing better.