Am a woman in EA, I personally feel more uncomfortable with guess culture at times. Being asked out directly is a more comfortable experience for me than having to navigate plausible deniability because in the latter case, it feels like the other person has more power over the narrative and there isn’t a clear way for me to turn them down quickly if I suspect they are subtly trying to make a romantic advance.
There are other norms that can make people more comfortable but “don’t explicitly ask out women you are interested in” would be bad for me because it causes people who would otherwise do that to behave in ways that are more difficult to scrutinise—Eg: “I was never interested in her” when called out on their behaviour/persistent flirting.
Am a woman in EA, I personally feel more uncomfortable with guess culture at times. Being asked out directly is a more comfortable experience for me than having to navigate plausible deniability because in the latter case, it feels like the other person has more power over the narrative and there isn’t a clear way for me to turn them down quickly if I suspect they are subtly trying to make a romantic advance.
There are other norms that can make people more comfortable but “don’t explicitly ask out women you are interested in” would be bad for me because it causes people who would otherwise do that to behave in ways that are more difficult to scrutinise—Eg: “I was never interested in her” when called out on their behaviour/persistent flirting.