To the extent that people here care about being better people, this seems somewhat relevant: The Bluetooth Test and other keyholes to the soul, written by Adam Mastroianni. It consists of a few reflections on ways to be a better person, presented in the form of ‘tests.’ Each test is a situation that you probably have been in, or have observed others in. I’ve definitly observed people in EA fail in some of these (the Circle of Hell Test comes to mind most prominently, but that is probably moderated by an individual’s own confidence and social skill). I view it as a nice nudge; a small reminder to keep making progress.
If you aren’t interested in virtue (in the ethical sense, like virtue ethics), then this may not appeal to you.
The Bluetooth test: “when you’re given the smallest amount of power, do you use it to make things nice for everybody, or just yourself?”
The Circle of Hell test: “when you see someone writhing in social damnation, do you grab their hand, or do you let ’em burn?”
The Gottman test: “do you expect to influence others, but refuse to be influenced yourself?”
The codependent problems test: “do you actually want to solve your problem, or are you secretly depending on its continued existence? If you showed up to fight the dragon and found it already slain, would you be elated or disappointed?”
The match your freak test: “If I’m a little bit weird, will you be a little bit weird too?”
The pointless status test: “whenever there’s some way you could consider myself better than other people, no matter how stupid or arbitrary it is, do you feel compelled to compete?”
The too busy to care test: “Are you too busy to care about the other people in your life?”
(Adam is an engaging writer who often leaves me feeling enriched, but his meandering style sometimes makes me lose track of what he’s talking about, which is why I pulled them out here)
I appreciated this quote from him too:
… becoming kinder and gentler is mainly the act of noticing—realizing that some small decision has moral weight, acting accordingly, and repeating that pattern over and over again.
When you say people in EA have failed at the Circle of Hell Test, what do you mean? Do you literally mean in that specific situation of people standing and talking in a circle and someone trying to join the circle?
Yes, I literally mean that I’ve observed in-person social situations in which people don’t welcome a new person to join a conversational group, or are otherwise not gracious/welcoming/considerate of someone. None of these were horrendous/egregious violations of etiquette, but they were noticeable in that they excluded a person. I can’t speak to what extent this was an intentional act or an act of simple unawareness and not noticing, but I would guess it is more the latter.
And I should clarify that I don’t mean “people in EA” to imply “all of EA, in general,” but rather to imply “a few individuals in a few different occurrences in EA contexts.” Similar to how “I met some Canadians who are really good artists” doesn’t imply that all Canadians are good artists, merely that I met some who were.
Thank you for explaining. Kindness like this matters to me a lot, and it also matters a lot to me whether someone is aware that another person is in need of their kindness.
To the extent that people here care about being better people, this seems somewhat relevant: The Bluetooth Test and other keyholes to the soul, written by Adam Mastroianni. It consists of a few reflections on ways to be a better person, presented in the form of ‘tests.’ Each test is a situation that you probably have been in, or have observed others in. I’ve definitly observed people in EA fail in some of these (the Circle of Hell Test comes to mind most prominently, but that is probably moderated by an individual’s own confidence and social skill). I view it as a nice nudge; a small reminder to keep making progress.
If you aren’t interested in virtue (in the ethical sense, like virtue ethics), then this may not appeal to you.
Adam’s tests, quoted:
The Bluetooth test: “when you’re given the smallest amount of power, do you use it to make things nice for everybody, or just yourself?”
The Circle of Hell test: “when you see someone writhing in social damnation, do you grab their hand, or do you let ’em burn?”
The Gottman test: “do you expect to influence others, but refuse to be influenced yourself?”
The codependent problems test: “do you actually want to solve your problem, or are you secretly depending on its continued existence? If you showed up to fight the dragon and found it already slain, would you be elated or disappointed?”
The match your freak test: “If I’m a little bit weird, will you be a little bit weird too?”
The pointless status test: “whenever there’s some way you could consider myself better than other people, no matter how stupid or arbitrary it is, do you feel compelled to compete?”
The too busy to care test: “Are you too busy to care about the other people in your life?”
(Adam is an engaging writer who often leaves me feeling enriched, but his meandering style sometimes makes me lose track of what he’s talking about, which is why I pulled them out here)
I appreciated this quote from him too:
Thanks, Mo. In retrospect, I suppose I should have copied over the tests to make them easier for people to see. Thanks for doing that!
Thank you!
When you say people in EA have failed at the Circle of Hell Test, what do you mean? Do you literally mean in that specific situation of people standing and talking in a circle and someone trying to join the circle?
Yes, I literally mean that I’ve observed in-person social situations in which people don’t welcome a new person to join a conversational group, or are otherwise not gracious/welcoming/considerate of someone. None of these were horrendous/egregious violations of etiquette, but they were noticeable in that they excluded a person. I can’t speak to what extent this was an intentional act or an act of simple unawareness and not noticing, but I would guess it is more the latter.
And I should clarify that I don’t mean “people in EA” to imply “all of EA, in general,” but rather to imply “a few individuals in a few different occurrences in EA contexts.” Similar to how “I met some Canadians who are really good artists” doesn’t imply that all Canadians are good artists, merely that I met some who were.
Thank you for explaining. Kindness like this matters to me a lot, and it also matters a lot to me whether someone is aware that another person is in need of their kindness.