You don’t have to agree with or understand someone to extend compassion!
Speaking for myself, sometimes I fear compassion will be used as an attack to push for concessions, so before I outwardly express it, I check whether I agree with criticisms. In that sense, discussion can be me taking something more seriously, not less. Now I’m not saying that’s helpful but I do think there are different communication styles at play here.
I’m sad to hear that you’ve felt the way you describe.
I genuinely find this fascinating. I don’t think I’ve ever felt worried expressing empathy would be used as a push for concessions, and haven’t wanted for it with this intent. I think your experience might be common though, perhaps among men in particular, and I think it we should talk about it more. Thanks for putting this out there.
Yeah, I think this article is a bit of a case in point. What is the author wanting if not significant changes and what are many comments rejecting if not discussions of whether that is reasonable.
Discussion can be compassionate. Disagreement can be compassionate. In fact, I’d argue that failing to have compassion and empathy for someone making a point is going to pretty seriously impair your ability to engage with the point, and even if you do you’re going to have a hard time communicating about it in a way that will be heard. I think seeing these things as in tension is a mistake.
Speaking for myself, sometimes I fear compassion will be used as an attack to push for concessions, so before I outwardly express it, I check whether I agree with criticisms. In that sense, discussion can be me taking something more seriously, not less. Now I’m not saying that’s helpful but I do think there are different communication styles at play here.
I’m sad to hear that you’ve felt the way you describe.
I genuinely find this fascinating. I don’t think I’ve ever felt worried expressing empathy would be used as a push for concessions, and haven’t wanted for it with this intent. I think your experience might be common though, perhaps among men in particular, and I think it we should talk about it more. Thanks for putting this out there.
Yeah, I think this article is a bit of a case in point. What is the author wanting if not significant changes and what are many comments rejecting if not discussions of whether that is reasonable.
Discussion can be compassionate. Disagreement can be compassionate. In fact, I’d argue that failing to have compassion and empathy for someone making a point is going to pretty seriously impair your ability to engage with the point, and even if you do you’re going to have a hard time communicating about it in a way that will be heard. I think seeing these things as in tension is a mistake.