Disclaimer: I have aphantasia and it seems that my subjective conscious experience is far from usual.[1] I don’t have deep meditation experience; I have meditated a cumulative 300+ hours since 2015. I have never meditated for more than 2 hours a day.
I’ve found Headspace’s mindfulness stuff unhelpful, albeit pleasant. It was just not what I needed but I only figured it out after a year or so. Metta (loving-kindness) is the practice I consistently benefit from most, also for my attention and focus. It’s the best “un-clencher” when I’m by myself. And it can get me into ecstatic states or cessation. Especially “open-monitoring” metta is great for me.
Related writing that resonates with me and has shaped my perspective and practice are:
Maybe some of this can help you identify your own path forward?
I have a friend who did a personalized retreat with a teacher for 3 days and made major breakthroughs; i.e. overcoming multi-year depression, getting to 6th Jhana. The usual retreats are probably inefficient, it seems better to have a close relationship and tighter feedback loops with a teacher.
I don’t have an inner voice, I don’t have mental imagery, my long-term memory is purely semantic (not sensory or episodic) and I have little active recall capacity. Essentially, my conscious mind is exceptionally empty as soon as I reduce external input. That doesn’t mean I’m naturally great at focusing (there’s so much input!). I’m just not fussed about things for longer than a few minutes because my attention is “stuck” in the present. I forget most things unless I build good scaffolds. I don’t think this architecture is better or worse—there are tradeoffs everywhere. Happy to talk more about this if it seems relevant to anyone.
thank you for the links, i will look into them. Interesting, that condition. I hadn’t heard of it. From where i sit, it seems to have advantages, but i’m sure downsides too, as you say.
Disclaimer: I have aphantasia and it seems that my subjective conscious experience is far from usual.[1] I don’t have deep meditation experience; I have meditated a cumulative 300+ hours since 2015. I have never meditated for more than 2 hours a day.
I’ve found Headspace’s mindfulness stuff unhelpful, albeit pleasant. It was just not what I needed but I only figured it out after a year or so. Metta (loving-kindness) is the practice I consistently benefit from most, also for my attention and focus. It’s the best “un-clencher” when I’m by myself. And it can get me into ecstatic states or cessation. Especially “open-monitoring” metta is great for me.
Related writing that resonates with me and has shaped my perspective and practice are:
Charlie Rogers on self-love.
Nick Cammarata on attachment/”clenching”, meditation as a laxative and how that affects happiness, clarity and motivation.
A lot of the Qualia Research Institute’s work is tangentially fascinating. They summarize the neuroscience on meditation quite well (afaict) and their scales of pain and pleasure map onto my experiences, too.
Maybe some of this can help you identify your own path forward?
I have a friend who did a personalized retreat with a teacher for 3 days and made major breakthroughs; i.e. overcoming multi-year depression, getting to 6th Jhana. The usual retreats are probably inefficient, it seems better to have a close relationship and tighter feedback loops with a teacher.
I don’t have an inner voice, I don’t have mental imagery, my long-term memory is purely semantic (not sensory or episodic) and I have little active recall capacity. Essentially, my conscious mind is exceptionally empty as soon as I reduce external input. That doesn’t mean I’m naturally great at focusing (there’s so much input!). I’m just not fussed about things for longer than a few minutes because my attention is “stuck” in the present. I forget most things unless I build good scaffolds. I don’t think this architecture is better or worse—there are tradeoffs everywhere. Happy to talk more about this if it seems relevant to anyone.
thank you for the links, i will look into them.
Interesting, that condition. I hadn’t heard of it. From where i sit, it seems to have advantages, but i’m sure downsides too, as you say.