I had ChatGPT rewrite this. Probably not the best place to share this, but if I don’t post here it here, might not post it anywhere.
My impression is that young women new to the community have at the least felt uncomfortable or uneasy in EA in some of their interactions with men who’ve been in the community longer and are a bit older. There’s probably enough of an issue here that it warrants a systemic solution.
As for myself, I admit that I have contributed a bit to the problem. Being a bit older and having been in the community for a while, I have engaged romantically and sexually with women who are younger and new to the community. Looking back, I recognize the problematic power dynamics at play and think there are things I would take back if I could. Nothing egregious, just stuff that wasn’t ideal.
I’m uncertain about the ideal systematic changes and norms, and where to draw the line when it comes to engaging in romantic relationships. While not abusing power is obvious, the gray area is unclear.
In my opinion, the best changes will come from a deeper understanding of the current situation and how we got here. From what I’ve seen, heterosexual men in the EA community who seek intimate relationships with women face significant challenges due to the crushing gender ratio. It can feel like a highly competitive environment where only the most attractive and successful men have any “luck.” Finding relationships outside of EA doesn’t feel like a real solution either, especially when one wants a partner who shares similar values and culture.
In my experience, being in the community for a long time or working in an organization does not feel powerful from the inside. Even in that position , it can lonely and desperate from a romantic/sexual angle, which in turn can make attractive women feel like they have significant power. As for me, I’m not particularly interested in women in their early 20s, both because of age and power imbalances and because of maturity and other factors. However, this age range seems to be where EA is most successful at recruiting women. Selfishly, I’d love to see more mid-late 20s or older women join.
There’s also the issue of pursuing younger women simply because they might be more impressed with one’s accomplishments so far. However, it would be fantastic if a woman a bit older with many impressive accomplishments took an interest in me. Unfortunately, it seems like women who are already established in the community are already in relationships, leaving only people new to the community as options.
In summary, while from angle there are men who are abusing their power and influence to gain sexual favor with younger woman, from another angle you have men who don’t feel that powerful and do feel lonely and desperate. This does not justify all behavior, of course. I believe that understanding where this behavior comes from is essential to changing it. That’s why I’m writing this.
The gender ratio imbalance in the EA community is a significant challenge, and I don’t think there are any quick or easy solutions. It is a challenging situation for both men and women, albeit in different ways. While this does not excuse mistreating others for one’s own needs, a better understanding of the root causes may help us be more effective in changing this behavior.
A solution might look like teaching people to recognize the power and influence they have even when it doesn’t feel like they have it. As Owen points out, it’s harder to see soft power.
I had ChatGPT rewrite this. Probably not the best place to share this, but if I don’t post here it here, might not post it anywhere.
My impression is that young women new to the community have at the least felt uncomfortable or uneasy in EA in some of their interactions with men who’ve been in the community longer and are a bit older. There’s probably enough of an issue here that it warrants a systemic solution.
As for myself, I admit that I have contributed a bit to the problem. Being a bit older and having been in the community for a while, I have engaged romantically and sexually with women who are younger and new to the community. Looking back, I recognize the problematic power dynamics at play and think there are things I would take back if I could. Nothing egregious, just stuff that wasn’t ideal.
I’m uncertain about the ideal systematic changes and norms, and where to draw the line when it comes to engaging in romantic relationships. While not abusing power is obvious, the gray area is unclear.
In my opinion, the best changes will come from a deeper understanding of the current situation and how we got here. From what I’ve seen, heterosexual men in the EA community who seek intimate relationships with women face significant challenges due to the crushing gender ratio. It can feel like a highly competitive environment where only the most attractive and successful men have any “luck.” Finding relationships outside of EA doesn’t feel like a real solution either, especially when one wants a partner who shares similar values and culture.
In my experience, being in the community for a long time or working in an organization does not feel powerful from the inside. Even in that position , it can lonely and desperate from a romantic/sexual angle, which in turn can make attractive women feel like they have significant power. As for me, I’m not particularly interested in women in their early 20s, both because of age and power imbalances and because of maturity and other factors. However, this age range seems to be where EA is most successful at recruiting women. Selfishly, I’d love to see more mid-late 20s or older women join.
There’s also the issue of pursuing younger women simply because they might be more impressed with one’s accomplishments so far. However, it would be fantastic if a woman a bit older with many impressive accomplishments took an interest in me. Unfortunately, it seems like women who are already established in the community are already in relationships, leaving only people new to the community as options.
In summary, while from angle there are men who are abusing their power and influence to gain sexual favor with younger woman, from another angle you have men who don’t feel that powerful and do feel lonely and desperate. This does not justify all behavior, of course. I believe that understanding where this behavior comes from is essential to changing it. That’s why I’m writing this.
The gender ratio imbalance in the EA community is a significant challenge, and I don’t think there are any quick or easy solutions. It is a challenging situation for both men and women, albeit in different ways. While this does not excuse mistreating others for one’s own needs, a better understanding of the root causes may help us be more effective in changing this behavior.
A solution might look like teaching people to recognize the power and influence they have even when it doesn’t feel like they have it. As Owen points out, it’s harder to see soft power.