You have perfectly summarized my state of mind. For now, my problem with medication is not so strong. I have returned to live with my parents and my partner is with me. They make sure I take my medication every morning.
I have noted the link you sent me in case of suicidal thoughts.
Unfortunately, I don’t have my psychiatrist’s email address because I got the appointments with him through the emergency room. But I can easily access the psychiatric emergency room of a hospital near my home in case of problems.
I did send the link of this discussion to my psychologist that I saw yesterday. He is also very concerned about the situation and I am considering hospitalization with him. On the other hand, since one of my compulsions is to search on the internet for resources related to my questions. He strongly advised me not to do it anymore. I have asked my family to take away my phone and computer except under their supervision. So I may not be able to go on the internet anymore or hardly at all in the next few days.
He also took seriously the risk of suicidal thoughts. But I think the risk is low for the time being. Until yesterday, I was still going to my job. I am a high school math teacher. I called in sick today because my classes were getting messy and I can’t grade tests at home. But I have not had any risky behavior in class. Just a lot of fatigue and a lot of math mistakes. Fortunately, my students are good and they were correcting me :p
I am so glad to hear that you took some very important steps and are treating your own well-being as the priority that it is. I think you are making wise decisions in taking steps to actively avoid feeding the obsessive-compulsive cycle.
Informal non-medical advice that I’d ask you to consider:
If you cannot see a psychiatrist, reach out to a primary care doctor and share what you’ve shared, with added information about what medication(s) you are on, their dosages, and how long you have been on them. Different medications affect people differently, and it’s import to ensure you are on one that is likely to help you. Rare adverse reactions being rare, they still do occur, and unless you’ve been stable on the same medication for several months, a physician should oversee your care and rule out the possibility that you are experiencing an adverse reaction.
Also, the physician can tell you more about what to expect and whether the drug should be working at this point if you tell them how long you have been consistently taking the drug as prescribed. If you’ve been on it for a while and things are getting worse, the doctor might consider a different medication and/or treatment plan.
I’m so sorry to hear that your going through this. I am really glad that you have family and a partner to support you, and that you have wisdom to know that you need their support right now. Way to go.
Thanks for your answers :-) I’ve gone a week without doing compulsive research on the issues that bother me. It was a hard effort but I am already much better. I am able to read again, spend a pleasant evening with friends, talk about unimportant subjects such as video games and most importantly, I am sleeping well again.
Thank you for paying attention to my concerns. My condition has improved greatly. I was able to return to work and a normal life. The work with the psychologist was very beneficial.
I will keep these moral questions in a corner of my mind if I ever feel like thinking about them calmly one day.
Thank you again for your advice and for taking my well-being seriously!
I imagine your choice to prioritize your own self care here directly benefited not only you and your loved ones, but also your students. Being a positive role model & good teacher for high school students while one’s sympathetic nervous system is short-circuiting for a duration sounds pretty impossible to me.
I think taking care of yourself had a counterfactual positive impact, that prioritizing your own well-being was the best thing you could have done here, and that continuing to prioritize your own health will serve everyone.
I envision behavior rippling outward, permeating social circles and beyond like waves. Being self-aware and intentional can amplify our waves of impact, helping us shape them so that they are cogent, cohesive, cumulative....constructive. Constructive interference is the metaphor I’m looking for, I think. If you continue being mindful and caring for your well-being, you can be a positive, high impact force just by being a caring person and a good teacher to your students.
Thank you for having the wisdom and courage to reach out, for being so receptive to advice and following up with your psychologist, and for letting us know that you are okay.
Hello,
You have perfectly summarized my state of mind. For now, my problem with medication is not so strong. I have returned to live with my parents and my partner is with me. They make sure I take my medication every morning.
I have noted the link you sent me in case of suicidal thoughts.
Unfortunately, I don’t have my psychiatrist’s email address because I got the appointments with him through the emergency room. But I can easily access the psychiatric emergency room of a hospital near my home in case of problems.
I did send the link of this discussion to my psychologist that I saw yesterday. He is also very concerned about the situation and I am considering hospitalization with him. On the other hand, since one of my compulsions is to search on the internet for resources related to my questions. He strongly advised me not to do it anymore. I have asked my family to take away my phone and computer except under their supervision. So I may not be able to go on the internet anymore or hardly at all in the next few days.
He also took seriously the risk of suicidal thoughts. But I think the risk is low for the time being. Until yesterday, I was still going to my job. I am a high school math teacher. I called in sick today because my classes were getting messy and I can’t grade tests at home. But I have not had any risky behavior in class. Just a lot of fatigue and a lot of math mistakes. Fortunately, my students are good and they were correcting me :p
Thanks for your time :-)
Hello,
I am so glad to hear that you took some very important steps and are treating your own well-being as the priority that it is. I think you are making wise decisions in taking steps to actively avoid feeding the obsessive-compulsive cycle.
I am glad you made note of the link to connect you with someone in the event of suicidal ideation ( https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/).
Informal non-medical advice that I’d ask you to consider:
If you cannot see a psychiatrist, reach out to a primary care doctor and share what you’ve shared, with added information about what medication(s) you are on, their dosages, and how long you have been on them. Different medications affect people differently, and it’s import to ensure you are on one that is likely to help you. Rare adverse reactions being rare, they still do occur, and unless you’ve been stable on the same medication for several months, a physician should oversee your care and rule out the possibility that you are experiencing an adverse reaction.
Also, the physician can tell you more about what to expect and whether the drug should be working at this point if you tell them how long you have been consistently taking the drug as prescribed. If you’ve been on it for a while and things are getting worse, the doctor might consider a different medication and/or treatment plan.
I’m so sorry to hear that your going through this. I am really glad that you have family and a partner to support you, and that you have wisdom to know that you need their support right now. Way to go.
Wishing you the best.
Hello,
Thanks for your answers :-)
I’ve gone a week without doing compulsive research on the issues that bother me. It was a hard effort but I am already much better. I am able to read again, spend a pleasant evening with friends, talk about unimportant subjects such as video games and most importantly, I am sleeping well again.
I continue my efforts :-)
Have a nice day!
Great work and thanks for letting us know that you are doing better. I am very happy to hear this.
Please continue to take care of yourself!
Hello,
Thank you for paying attention to my concerns. My condition has improved greatly. I was able to return to work and a normal life. The work with the psychologist was very beneficial.
I will keep these moral questions in a corner of my mind if I ever feel like thinking about them calmly one day.
Thank you again for your advice and for taking my well-being seriously!
I am extremely relieved to hear this.
I imagine your choice to prioritize your own self care here directly benefited not only you and your loved ones, but also your students. Being a positive role model & good teacher for high school students while one’s sympathetic nervous system is short-circuiting for a duration sounds pretty impossible to me.
I think taking care of yourself had a counterfactual positive impact, that prioritizing your own well-being was the best thing you could have done here, and that continuing to prioritize your own health will serve everyone.
I envision behavior rippling outward, permeating social circles and beyond like waves. Being self-aware and intentional can amplify our waves of impact, helping us shape them so that they are cogent, cohesive, cumulative....constructive. Constructive interference is the metaphor I’m looking for, I think. If you continue being mindful and caring for your well-being, you can be a positive, high impact force just by being a caring person and a good teacher to your students.
Thank you for having the wisdom and courage to reach out, for being so receptive to advice and following up with your psychologist, and for letting us know that you are okay.
💚💚💚