Feedback: I love the idea behind the piece, since it very closely tracks with what motivated me to join the EA movement in the first place. Other art Iāve found that makes use of the same idea: This essay by Julia Wise and the film Life in a Day. I hope youāll keep thinking about and writing on similar topics; I want to see more work on the sheer emotional force of effective altruism.
As for the piece itself: I liked the progression of ideas and the sharing incentives at the end, but I found the language to be a little too abstract and poetic to follow in some places. Iām also wary about the phrase āour womenā; I understand it to mean āthe women who belong to our species, the human speciesā, but paired with āour childrenā it adds an accidental hint of patriarchy.
Thanks for the feedback and the links. Iāll check them out. Iām likely guilty here of overly poetic language and I should keep it in check so that it doesnāt distract from the message. Your point about my language: āour womenā, is worth some thought on my part and Iāll give it that.
Your comments were sincerely appreciated. Thanks for taking the time.
Feedback: I love the idea behind the piece, since it very closely tracks with what motivated me to join the EA movement in the first place. Other art Iāve found that makes use of the same idea: This essay by Julia Wise and the film Life in a Day. I hope youāll keep thinking about and writing on similar topics; I want to see more work on the sheer emotional force of effective altruism.
As for the piece itself: I liked the progression of ideas and the sharing incentives at the end, but I found the language to be a little too abstract and poetic to follow in some places. Iām also wary about the phrase āour womenā; I understand it to mean āthe women who belong to our species, the human speciesā, but paired with āour childrenā it adds an accidental hint of patriarchy.
Thanks for the feedback and the links. Iāll check them out. Iām likely guilty here of overly poetic language and I should keep it in check so that it doesnāt distract from the message. Your point about my language: āour womenā, is worth some thought on my part and Iāll give it that.
Your comments were sincerely appreciated. Thanks for taking the time.