One tension I grapple with in these conversations that I’m struggling to articulate is the difficulty between separating out the fact that bad things tend to be so much worse when you experience them, so that if the data isn’t that damning, as I man, I can feel good about EA and continue with my day. Whereas I imagine for women who bear the brunt of it, EA being not that bad is still pretty shitty, and if I knew this viscerally, I would be a whole lot more empathetic and do a lot more to try and combat it.
Maybe the point I’m trying to make is when engaging with topics like this there can be a muting of how bad ‘not that bad’ is.
I don’t think this invalidates or contradicts the main point of your post Nathan, more a potential missing mood to all those discussing in the comments (not calling out anyone in particular).
One tension I grapple with in these conversations that I’m struggling to articulate is the difficulty between separating out the fact that bad things tend to be so much worse when you experience them, so that if the data isn’t that damning, as I man, I can feel good about EA and continue with my day. Whereas I imagine for women who bear the brunt of it, EA being not that bad is still pretty shitty, and if I knew this viscerally, I would be a whole lot more empathetic and do a lot more to try and combat it.
Maybe the point I’m trying to make is when engaging with topics like this there can be a muting of how bad ‘not that bad’ is.
I don’t think this invalidates or contradicts the main point of your post Nathan, more a potential missing mood to all those discussing in the comments (not calling out anyone in particular).
Probably. I imagine if I were better I could discuss this both empathetically and with perfect accuracy.
But I think almost everywhere this is discussed, the awfulness of it is made clear (including in small ways in this piece).
I think rarely are there discussions of base rates and comparisons to other communities.
Do you think the mood of “comparison” is missing from all those other discussions?
In short, often yes.
I agree.
This is a tough topic to discuss and I appreciate you being willing to discuss it on the forum.
Thanks. I think it’s a good thing to get into the open. I appreciate your willingness to discuss it too.