The example you bring up of living with co-workers seems to be a case in which it turned out to be fine. I do think there are some scenarios where violating these “norms” is fine, but each of them is concerning to me. I think the low-quality model of an argument like this would be roughly “I did this allegedly risky thing and it turned out fine. Therefore, the thing isn’t risky.”
I would interpret each of these not as hard lines that shouldn’t be crossed, but as areas/factors of increased risk.
A husband and wife live together, and the wife is completely economically dependent on the husband. It is fine; they are happy together, and not planning to divorce. But because there is this “bad practice” (the practice of the wife not having access to money of her own), two things occur. First, her behavior is shaped by the perception of how easy/hard it is to separate. Second, if the wife wants to leave, it will be much harder to do so.
A much more crude analogy: Steve keeps a loaded gun at home in an unlocked cabinet, and claims that it is fine since none of his children have ever accidently shot themselves.
I apologize for using an analogies rather than something more rigorous. I am vaguely gesturing toward an idea, but I haven’t thought it through fully. Analogies are the written-down version of my vague gesturing.
The example you bring up of living with co-workers seems to be a case in which it turned out to be fine. I do think there are some scenarios where violating these “norms” is fine, but each of them is concerning to me. I think the low-quality model of an argument like this would be roughly “I did this allegedly risky thing and it turned out fine. Therefore, the thing isn’t risky.”
I would interpret each of these not as hard lines that shouldn’t be crossed, but as areas/factors of increased risk.
Rough analogies:[1]
A husband and wife live together, and the wife is completely economically dependent on the husband. It is fine; they are happy together, and not planning to divorce. But because there is this “bad practice” (the practice of the wife not having access to money of her own), two things occur. First, her behavior is shaped by the perception of how easy/hard it is to separate. Second, if the wife wants to leave, it will be much harder to do so.
A much more crude analogy: Steve keeps a loaded gun at home in an unlocked cabinet, and claims that it is fine since none of his children have ever accidently shot themselves.
I apologize for using an analogies rather than something more rigorous. I am vaguely gesturing toward an idea, but I haven’t thought it through fully. Analogies are the written-down version of my vague gesturing.