Some EA parties (including some EA Global afterparties) involve cuddle puddles or hot tubs. The post made me wonder if that is also problematic. I’ve never heard anyone say that but some people might feel pressure to comply in order to fit in and possibly make important connections. It also probably increases the probability of various problems like touching without consent. Such things might also repulse some new commers from EA, especially after all the scandals. Perhaps people should consider whether such things are appropriate for a given gathering a bit more?
I would feel surprised if people felt pressure to be part of a cuddle puddle just because there was one at a party, and inclined to say it was their problem if so. I think it’s different obviously if people are verbally pressuring them to join (and I think “awww come on! it’s fun” counts as verbal pressure). But I’d be sad if people stopped having cuddle puddles/hot tubs because of a worry that some hypothetical person might feel uncomfortable with them.
I’m sure some people find hot tubs a bit awkward and I’m sure most people (at least outside of EA) would find “cuddle puddles” a little strange. You’ll never be able to please everyone, you gotta just live your life.
Hot tubs at least seem fine. I can’t imagine anyone feeling offended or creeped out by being asked at a party if they want to join a hot tub the way they might if they’re propositioned for sex (at least, unless there’s more going on in the situation). I’ve heard of the cuddle puddles at Bay Area parties but I’m not familiar enough with them to have an informed view there.
I would be cautious of spending too many weirdness points on those things (to your point about newcomers finding them a bit weird), but I don’t think anyone is feeling coerced to join a cuddle puddle/get in a hottub at those sorts of parties.
Most of the EAG afterparties I’ve been to have mostly just been pretty standard drinking in someone’s house or a bar.
I’d say most people consider them fairly intimate. Also if drinks are involved and it’s an impromptu move to the hot tub, it can frequently turn into a nude experience. I can see that making many people uncomfortable.
Depends. I think if you’re going to a house party it’s cool. If you’ve just attended what you view as a professional conference, might be weirder/overly familiar (especially if you’re getting in a hot tub with people who might be important professional connections).
I could be wrong. I know a mathematics professor who went to a math conference in Finland and they thought nothing of sauna-ing nude together, as Finns do.
Yeah, in Finnish contexts (nude) sauna is a normal option for an afterparty of a professional conference or similar context :) but in these cases, there is a gender separation of sauna turns (or different saunas) for men and women, just like at Finnish public swimming pools. At EA Finland events we have so far followed a quite usual Finnish student and hobby group policy of having a sauna turns for non-men and non-women separately and a mixed turn where everyone is welcome, with the option but not obligation to wear a swimming suit.
Some EA parties (including some EA Global afterparties) involve cuddle puddles or hot tubs. The post made me wonder if that is also problematic. I’ve never heard anyone say that but some people might feel pressure to comply in order to fit in and possibly make important connections. It also probably increases the probability of various problems like touching without consent. Such things might also repulse some new commers from EA, especially after all the scandals. Perhaps people should consider whether such things are appropriate for a given gathering a bit more?
I would feel surprised if people felt pressure to be part of a cuddle puddle just because there was one at a party, and inclined to say it was their problem if so. I think it’s different obviously if people are verbally pressuring them to join (and I think “awww come on! it’s fun” counts as verbal pressure). But I’d be sad if people stopped having cuddle puddles/hot tubs because of a worry that some hypothetical person might feel uncomfortable with them.
I’m sure some people find hot tubs a bit awkward and I’m sure most people (at least outside of EA) would find “cuddle puddles” a little strange. You’ll never be able to please everyone, you gotta just live your life.
Hot tubs at least seem fine. I can’t imagine anyone feeling offended or creeped out by being asked at a party if they want to join a hot tub the way they might if they’re propositioned for sex (at least, unless there’s more going on in the situation). I’ve heard of the cuddle puddles at Bay Area parties but I’m not familiar enough with them to have an informed view there.
I expect this depends somewhat on attire?
I would be cautious of spending too many weirdness points on those things (to your point about newcomers finding them a bit weird), but I don’t think anyone is feeling coerced to join a cuddle puddle/get in a hottub at those sorts of parties.
Most of the EAG afterparties I’ve been to have mostly just been pretty standard drinking in someone’s house or a bar.
Do hot tubs require weirdness points? Don’t most people just find them fun and relaxing?
I’d say most people consider them fairly intimate. Also if drinks are involved and it’s an impromptu move to the hot tub, it can frequently turn into a nude experience. I can see that making many people uncomfortable.
Depends. I think if you’re going to a house party it’s cool. If you’ve just attended what you view as a professional conference, might be weirder/overly familiar (especially if you’re getting in a hot tub with people who might be important professional connections).
I could be wrong. I know a mathematics professor who went to a math conference in Finland and they thought nothing of sauna-ing nude together, as Finns do.
Yeah, in Finnish contexts (nude) sauna is a normal option for an afterparty of a professional conference or similar context :) but in these cases, there is a gender separation of sauna turns (or different saunas) for men and women, just like at Finnish public swimming pools. At EA Finland events we have so far followed a quite usual Finnish student and hobby group policy of having a sauna turns for non-men and non-women separately and a mixed turn where everyone is welcome, with the option but not obligation to wear a swimming suit.
Is the idea that non binary people are welcome at either?
Exactly, that’s the idea!