I mean I think if you’re attracted to like 90% of women you shouldn’t be DMing 90% of women “you up?”
but like a friend or someone you have a crush on? my view is they’re an adult and can handle hearing this and there are an astonishing number of ways people can screw up which are prevented by doing this ASAP
like if you look through the comments women are more saying “guys do X to try to sleep with me but retain plausible deniability for doing so when I would really just like to do X for its own sake” and less “hearing that guys are interested in me is an infohazard”
i think a lot of guys are rationalising about this out of a fear of getting rejected when the point is they should be making it easy to reject them.
i mean
this is the point of flirting? it is plausibly deniable?
i think a lot of the time flirting means, say “i’m not sure if i’m ~attracted to you and testing the waters would help me get data on this”
(i think poor social skills often cashes out as “not having things like this as hypotheses” rather than “being unable to read people”)
im honestly not sure if there’s a clear line between flirting and non-flirting.
if i knew i wanted to hook up with someone i would simply tell them
Even if you didn’t know anything yet about whether they were interested in you? That’s a big part of what (mutual!) flirting accomplishes, no?
I mean I think if you’re attracted to like 90% of women you shouldn’t be DMing 90% of women “you up?”
but like a friend or someone you have a crush on? my view is they’re an adult and can handle hearing this and there are an astonishing number of ways people can screw up which are prevented by doing this ASAP
like if you look through the comments women are more saying “guys do X to try to sleep with me but retain plausible deniability for doing so when I would really just like to do X for its own sake” and less “hearing that guys are interested in me is an infohazard”
i think a lot of guys are rationalising about this out of a fear of getting rejected when the point is they should be making it easy to reject them.