Introducing “Bribe Well”

On April 1st, in a groundbreaking pivot from traditional charitable efforts, we are thrilled to unveil “Bribe Well”, a charity destined to redefine the boundaries of effective altruism. This idea was pioneered by EAs from Eastern Europe as we have seen firsthand how little money from private interests can move governments a long way. The post was written in large parts by AI, but we see no conflict of interest (in general, not just about AI writing this).

With a mission firmly rooted in the principle of maximizing impact, Bribe Well leverages the untapped potential of “direct governance by money,” pioneering a future where philanthropy and pragmatism intertwine througthrough the strategic election of the most amenable politicians. Yes, you heard it right—we’re talking about those with a flexible moral compass because in the world of impact, direction matters more than standing still.

The Philosophy Behind Bribe Well

At Bribe Well, we embrace the notion that the best way to predict the future is to buy it. Our innovative approach, dubbed “Ruling by Fiat (Currency),” is not about undermining democracy but enhancing its efficiency. Why waste time with debates and legislation when you can ensure the right decisions are made upfront, with a modest financial incentive? It’s about cutting through the bureaucratic red tape with green bills.

How It Works:

  1. Selection Savvy: We identify potential political candidates possessing a unique blend of ambition and pliability. Our rigorous vetting process ensures they’re open to… let’s call it “philanthropic persuasion”.

  2. Investment in Influence: Through a carefully curated portfolio of “donations”, we secure our candidates’ commitments to policies that align with our high-impact agenda. Think of it as crowd-funding for the common good—with returns measured in societal benefits.

  3. Governance by Guideline: Once in power, our elected officials receive ongoing support and guidance—along with reminders of their generous benefactors. It’s about keeping the ship of state on the right course, with a steady hand on the tiller (and a finger on the scales).

Why It’s Revolutionary

Bribe Well isn’t just a charity; it’s a movement towards “efficient democracy,” as practiced in many countries around the world. By prioritizing outcomes over processes, we ensure that the path to impactful change is as direct as a cash transfer. Our model bypasses the inefficiencies of the democratic process, offering a streamlined route to societal improvement. We are a version of GiveDirectly, with our direct giving going to the most efficient politicians for most bang for your buck.

What you should look forward to

We are hoping to have a website listing our achievements, with prices and services listed out, but the politicians and judges keep complaining about it, so we keep getting delayed. Perhaps by next April 1st we manage to have it up and running.

We have also managed to work with all the politicians you dislike to do the thing that you hate, but that was accidental.

Possible slogans, vote for your favorites or add your own in the comments

  • At Bribe Well, we believe in transparency—every dollar spent is a seed planted in the fertile ground of governance. You might say we’re into “green” policy in more ways than one.

  • Some say money can’t buy happiness, but at Bribe Well, we know it can certainly lease legislative efficiency.

  • Our critics may accuse us of moral bankruptcy, but we prefer to think of ourselves as investing in ethical liquidity.

A Call to Arms (and Wallets)

As we launch Bribe Well on this auspicious April 1st, we invite you to join us in embracing the future of philanthropy. Together, we can ensure that the road to hell is not just paved with good intentions but funded by them, too. Let’s put our money where our mouth is and prove that with the right amount of cash, the (cheque writing) pen isn’t just mightier than the sword—it’s mightier than the legislative pen.

Thanks to all the people in the EA Eastern Europe CB retreat who spoke to me about this idea in 2023; if only you had bribed me to write this sooner!