This sounds like someone who doesn’t want to actually give you feedback, my guess is they’re scared of insulting you, or being liable to something legal, or something like that.
Oh, interesting… I’m autistic and I’ve heard that autistic people give off subtly weird “uncanny valley”–type vibes even if they mask well. So I mostly just assume it’s that. Close friends of mine who surely felt perfectly free to tell me anything were also at a loss to describe it. They said the vibes were less when I made a ponytail rather than had open hair, but they couldn’t describe it. (Once I transition more, I hope people will just attribute the vibes to my probably-unfortunately-slightly-imperfect femininity and not worry about it. ^.^ I just need to plant enough weirdness lightning rods. xD)
But he was US-based at the time, and I’ve heard employers in the US are much more careful with giving feedback than around here, so maybe it was just guardedness in that case.
I like your template! I remember another series of interviews where I easily figured out what the problems were (unless they were pretenses). I think I’m quite attuned (by dint of social anxiety) to subtle indications of disappointment and such. When I first mentioned earning to give in an interview, I noticed a certain hesitancy and found out that it’s because the person was looking for someone who has an intrinsic motivation for building hardware for supply chain optimization rather than someone who does it for the money. But in other cases I’m clueless, so the template can come into action!
My own approach to this is to tell the interviewer what I’m worried about, and also the reasons that I might not be a good match for whatever this is. For example, “I never worked with some-tech-you-use”. If after hearing my worries they still want to hire me, that’s great, and I don’t need to pretend to know anything. I also think this somewhat filters for hiring managers that appreciate transparency (and not pretending everything is perfect), which is pretty important to me personally.
Oh yes, I love this! I think I’ve done this in virtually every interview simply because I actually didn’t know something. One interviewer even asked me whether I know the so-and-so design pattern. I asked what that is, and then concluded that I had never heard of it. Good call too, because that thing turned out to be ungoogleable. Idk whether he made it up or whether it was an invention of his CS professor, but being transparent about such things has served me well. :-D
Examples of things that might worry you:
I think for me it’s mostly about what the other people in the room will think about me, not about consequences for me. I’m also afraid of playing games with friends or strangers for the same reason even though my blunders in such games wouldn’t realistically have any consequences for me. :-/
My training with actual interviews will have to wait though because I found a great ETG-oriented EA-run company that is basically my best-case employer. :-D My personal growth will have to continue not down the path of becoming braver but down the path of understanding gas optimization in Uniswap v3. ^.^
Thank you so much for all your ideas! (How is your work going? :-D)
Oh, interesting… I’m autistic and I’ve heard that autistic people give off subtly weird “uncanny valley”–type vibes even if they mask well. So I mostly just assume it’s that. Close friends of mine who surely felt perfectly free to tell me anything were also at a loss to describe it. They said the vibes were less when I made a ponytail rather than had open hair, but they couldn’t describe it. (Once I transition more, I hope people will just attribute the vibes to my probably-unfortunately-slightly-imperfect femininity and not worry about it. ^.^ I just need to plant enough weirdness lightning rods. xD)
But he was US-based at the time, and I’ve heard employers in the US are much more careful with giving feedback than around here, so maybe it was just guardedness in that case.
I like your template! I remember another series of interviews where I easily figured out what the problems were (unless they were pretenses). I think I’m quite attuned (by dint of social anxiety) to subtle indications of disappointment and such. When I first mentioned earning to give in an interview, I noticed a certain hesitancy and found out that it’s because the person was looking for someone who has an intrinsic motivation for building hardware for supply chain optimization rather than someone who does it for the money. But in other cases I’m clueless, so the template can come into action!
Oh yes, I love this! I think I’ve done this in virtually every interview simply because I actually didn’t know something. One interviewer even asked me whether I know the so-and-so design pattern. I asked what that is, and then concluded that I had never heard of it. Good call too, because that thing turned out to be ungoogleable. Idk whether he made it up or whether it was an invention of his CS professor, but being transparent about such things has served me well. :-D
I think for me it’s mostly about what the other people in the room will think about me, not about consequences for me. I’m also afraid of playing games with friends or strangers for the same reason even though my blunders in such games wouldn’t realistically have any consequences for me. :-/
My training with actual interviews will have to wait though because I found a great ETG-oriented EA-run company that is basically my best-case employer. :-D My personal growth will have to continue not down the path of becoming braver but down the path of understanding gas optimization in Uniswap v3. ^.^
Thank you so much for all your ideas! (How is your work going? :-D)
I find your comments fun and authentic. I like your approach to voicing your concern that you don’t know something and it helps filter good managers.