Former software developer transitioning into operations after a career break for entrepreneurship and parenting.
Richard_Leyba_Tejada
Karma: 68
Thank you.
Richard_Leyba_Tejada’s Quick takes
I am a former software developer navigating a transition from career break for parenting back to work.
I tend to avoid speaking about managing my career/parenting. I often act as if I am superhuman, avoiding the reality that my resources/time are limited, likely because I do not know how to express my needs for fear of [...judgement?].
I am confronting this internal struggle after a chat with my accountability team working on HIP’s Career Impact Track workbook.
I am curious to hear others’ experiences speaking of and navigating career/parenting.
How are you managing career/parenting?
What uncertainties did you have about parenting/career? How did you resolve them?
How do you ease the burdens of parenting (child care, isolation, socializing, finding parent friendly community/support)?
Resources I found helpful:
Parenting/community building
Why I love being a “part-time” mom
#178 – Emily Oster on what the evidence actually says about pregnancy and parenting
It Takes a Village! How we Built a Community and Share Childcare
Effective altruism in the garden of ends
Learning to express myself better/socializing/community building
Nonviolent Communication (NVC)
Authentic Relating: A Guide to Rich, Meaningful, Nourishing Relationships
Mental health
Rethink Wellbeing’s Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy group program
IFS therapy
What % of roles are filled with job applications vs other methods (what are the other methods?)
What are some reasons hires did not work out and how did that affect the hiring process?
also posted on AMA with recruiters at impact-focused orgs
What % of roles are filled with applications vs other methods (what are the other methods?)
What are some reasons hires did not work out and how did that affect the hiring process?
What operations/project management soft/hard skills, experience and talents are most needed in your orgs/teams?
What is your opinion on which of these skills are trainable vs learned on the job?
What are things orgs are doing to support working parents?
Can you name orgs you find very supportive of people managing a career and parenting?
Are there programs in EA to support people returning to a career after a parenting/caregiving break?
Some people want to switch to part-time for a few years or indefinitely, take a career break, or need flexible hours to raise kids.
Your experience socializing is relatable. I am a former software developer and found socializing too complex. Are there people, groups and settings at work where socializing is easier? I am curious to hear more. DM me if you prefer. (I am not an advisor)
Reading your post had a deep impact. I found your post searching how others in EA balance careers and parenting. Reading your post I felt tightness in my chest and saw similar thoughts and questions “where did my moral obligation come from?”, how do I use my career to do good, and manage the “the psychological whip of obligation”, burnout, parenting?
Fractal altruism sounded interesting, and then I was lucky to join the webinar launching the other Fractal communities. Wao, here are people building this thing to solve so many issues of adulting, isolation/loneliness, building community, social safety net, parenting-friendly community. I am almost speechless Tyler. Thank you.
Curious what you learned about transactional analysis. I too am fascinated by this post and “giving permission”.
Thank you Claire!
Interested. Sounds like a good place to work. I will prepare my application today. Thanks for posting!
I never thought of that lol. I am curious about the kind of video games people in ops like.
One company. You are right about too many eggs in one basket. I’m expanding my search to more companies and focusing on operations roles.
I learned recently my resume is too generic, not targeted enough to the roles and needs quantifiable accomplishments.
I’m updating...Thank you.
How do you manage participants who fear being judged and may be afraid to interact with the group?
The last 18 months I have applied to 9+- roles at a company I am very interested in and received rejections for 6 roles. 4 roles are under review. I reached out to a recruiter and he said the hiring managers expressed no interest to interview me. Should I stop applying at that company? I am afraid I may be annoying the recruiters if continue to apply to their jobs after so many rejections. What do you think?
I find your comments fun and authentic. I like your approach to voicing your concern that you don’t know something and it helps filter good managers.
“The goal of interviews is not to pass them (that’s the wrong goal, I claim). The goals I recommend are:
Reducing uncertainty regarding what places will accept you. (so you should get many rejections, it’s by-design, otherwise you’re not searching well)”
I get very anxious the closer I am to interview day. I started doing mock interviews to practice.
Shifting to reducing uncertainty/research vs passing seems helpful.
What systems could be designed to mitigate risks of people taking advantage of others? What about spreading the knowledge of how we are influenced? With this knowledge, we can recognize these behaviors and turn off our auto pilots so we can defend ourselves from bad actors. Or will that knowledge being widespread lead to some people using this knowledge to do more damage?
“I have lots of goals. I have a goal of improving the world. I have a goal of enjoying time with my children. I have a goal of being a good spouse. I have a goal of feeling connected in my friendships and community. Those are all fine goals, but they’re not the same.” This post is one of my favorite articles in the EA program. Written in clear, easy to understand language and goes straight to how I feel. I have confusing emotions about doing the most good.
Having clear and separate goals sounds helpful. Using some resources to go to a movies or meet a friend for coffee is ok. I am having a tougher time deciding whether to stop donating to areas that are close to me. Should I stop donating money in Haiti and instead donate more to high impact areas? This is a tough choice and I am still struggling with deciding.
Thank you. Subscribed to tag :)