Her post was strongly downvoted, and she eventually removed it.
This claim seems misleading at best
Edit: That’s not to say I disagree with the central thrust of the article—I find it plausible, and I wish the community health team was able to handle this problem more effectively. I hope they are trying to figure out want went wrong in cases like Angela Pang’s.
How do you define “decent”?
I’m a straight guy, and I grew up in an era of pre-#metoo, sex-positive feminism. The doctrine of the day was “men and women are pretty much the same in every way and it’s sexist to claim otherwise”. “Slut shaming is bad, women can be just as horny as men, wanting women to be chaste and pure is patriarchical and bad, trying to give women special protection from harm is benevolent sexism and therefore bad, treating people the same regardless of their gender is good and desirable.”
An anecdote from this era of feminism—I once read a woman claim something like: if a man hears a new dirty joke, and he tells it to his male friends but not his female friends, that’s sexism.
I figured: “OK, well if men and women are pretty much the same in every way, and treating women as delicate flowers is sexist and bad, that means I can model women’s dating preferences by just putting myself in their shoes and asking myself how I would feel if I was in their situation. Women are just people, after all!”
Obviously, at a certain point I figured out that this was a bad heuristic. I believe I’ve technically been the victim of sexual assault (rot13′d: n qehax thl ng n cnegl tenoorq zl pebgpu bhg bs gur oyhr nsgre V gbyq uvz ur jnf cneglvat gbb uneq—V unir ab vagrerfg va thlf naq jnf tvivat fvtanyf bs naablnapr, abg frkhny vagrerfg). I found it about as unpleasant as brushing off a persistent insect. I basically forgot about it for years, until #metoo came along and I thought to myself “huh, I guess maybe I’ve been assaulted too.”
I’ve also been catcalled by women a few times—those are fond memories that I recall when my self-esteem is low.
I hesitate to share this, because I fear readers will think I’m suggesting that women’s preferences are somehow less important or legitimate. That’s not the case. I recognize that society is full of diverse peope with diverse preferences, and I think we should work to satisfy everyone’s preferences in a harmonious way.
Rather, what I’m trying to say is: I think society underrates how often men have trouble modeling women’s preferences. It looks to me like a preference modeling failure at least partially explains the OP. I think failure to model preferences accurately is a mistake that decent people sometimes make. The OP doesn’t read at all to me like an instance of premeditated, deliberate harm. (And, separately, I wish women would invest more in helping men model their preferences. It seems like if a guy says “that doesn’t seem bad to me”, the most common response is some variant of “you’re a horrible person!”, which is counterproductive for learning. It doesn’t communicate any general rule which could allow me to extrapolate from this instance and accurately model your preferences in other situations.)