I believe the reason people find the idea of non-existence so tragic is that they fundamentally confuse it with a vacuum.
In physics, a vacuum is still a “something.” It has a metric, a coordinate system, and energy fields. It is a physical state. But non-existence isn’t a “state” you fall into; it is the total deletion of all states. (This conceptual confusion is so deeply rooted that it has persisted throughout the history of physics. Even the greatest thinkers often struggled to distinguish between the presence of ‘empty space’ and the absolute absence of ‘being’.)
We fail to grasp this distinction because we cannot imagine a “total shutdown” without projecting a background stage(like darkness or silence)to hold it. The trick our mind plays on us is the Phantom Observer effect. When we try to imagine non-existence, we are secretly picturing ourselves standing in the void, looking at a blank space and feeling sad. But in the case of non-existence, the observer is deleted too.
Therefore, saying, “But think of all the music, the sunsets, and the joy we’d lose!” is circular reasoning. We only value those things because we are already here and biologically wired to “thirst” for them. In the case of non-existence, that thirst vanishes along with the water. No one is left behind to feel “deprived.” You cannot have a loss without a loser to experience it.
I completely agree that individual lifestyle change shouldn’t be a barrier to entry for the movement. We need a broad message so we don’t trap people in an “all or nothing” binary where they feel forced to choose “nothing” just because they aren’t ready for “all” right away. However, I believe veganism must remain a (not imposed but) actively encouraged goal for several key reasons:
1-) The most overlooked power of the vegan position, in my opinion, is its ability to shift the Overton Window. We expand the boundaries of what society considers acceptable and this normalizes concepts that once seemed radical. When we water down our message to avoid causing discomfort, however, we effectively keep the conversation anchored to the status quo.
2-) I believe, we sometimes underestimate the moral agency of those around us. While this might vary outside our specific circles, my experience facilitating fellowships (where I’ve run small experiments in how I communicate) has led me to think that by being ‘too quiet,’ I might actually be holding people back. I assume they aren’t ready, but in reality, many are waiting for a social nudge. They are looking for someone to show them that this change is necessary, possible, and much easier than it seems. By failing to open that door, we miss an opportunity to help them transition.
3-) Research from the Welfare Footprint Institute reveals that the scale of agony in industrial farming is even worse than we assume. Animals endure thousands of hours of “severe” and “disabling” pain. These are beings that belong in our moral circle. So, when we are in a comfortable setting with a high-quality vegan alternative right in front of us, choosing the option that causes immense suffering suggests we haven’t yet fully grasped the moral weight of the issue. I believe we should be communicating the gravity of the situation effectively enough to influence people’s behavior in such situations, at least.
TL;DR: I believe we should avoid gatekeeping the movement but we must normalize the idea that an animal’s life is worth more than our discomfort, especially within our communities, where people might be more open to change than we assume.