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I first read the Epic of Gilgamesh in campus and thought, “cool, ancient dude fights monsters.” But now, years later after a burnout, trying to do good in the world I reread it and it hit so differently.

Gilgamesh wasn’t just scared of death he was scared of insignificance. Of trying really hard and it still not mattering. Sound familiar?

That’s the part that resonates deeply with me in EA. Whether I’m donating, researching, working on a cause area there’s always this quiet background voice:

“What if none of this matters?”
“What if I’m wrong?”
“What if it’s not enough?”

But I take comfort in how Gilgamesh ended his journey. He didn’t solve death. He didn’t have perfect information. He just built something that helped others.

Maybe that’s enough. Maybe that’s impact.

Would love to hear how you all think about this kind of emotional side of doing good. Do you wrestle with that same existential doubt? Or do you lean into it?

More ancient existentialism: books of ecclesiastes (Koheleth) https://​​quod.lib.umich.edu/​​cgi/​​r/​​rsv/​​rsv-idx?type=DIV1&byte=2559564

and Job. It really cuts. https://​​quod.lib.umich.edu/​​cgi/​​r/​​rsv/​​rsv-idx?type=DIV1&byte=2033202

“For there is hope for a tree, if it be cut down, that it will sprout again, and that its shoots will not cease. Though its root grow old in the earth, and its stump die in the ground, yet at the scent of water it will bud and put forth branches like a young plant. But man dies, and is laid low; man breathes his last, and where is he? As waters fail from a lake, and a river wastes away and dries up, so man lies down and rises not again; till the heavens are no more he will not awake, or be roused out of his sleep.”