Jeff was probably not asking what “sacred cow” means; more likely the question was asking in what way polyamory is a sacred cow of EA.
I will grant that EA is more tolerant of most personal traits than society typically is, and therefore is more supportive of polyamory than other groups just by not being against it, but it’s not anywhere in any canonical EA materials, and certainly not a sacred cow. Plenty of EAs are criticizing it in this very thread.
Could you clarify what concretely you do want to happen, then, if not less tolerance of polyamory? What would be different, if polyamory was not a sacred cow? What are the possible conclusions we could come to after reflecting on this?
I don’t have a particular agenda about “what should happen” here. I’ve said we should scrutinize the ways that polyamorous norms could be abused in high trust communities. I’m not sure what the outcome would be, but I would certainly hope it’s not intolerance of poly communities.
I would readily agree that some—perhaps most—of these problems could also be solved by ensuring EA spaces are purely professional, but it does seem a bit obtuse to not understand that someone could feel more uncomfortable when asked to join a polycule at an EA meet up than simply being asked on a date.
I think an ideal outcome would to reduce the association between EA and poly—such that poly is not a major cultural touchstone within EA—while keeping EA a welcoming and respectful place for poly people.
Something that is above question or criticism or question (see here), in this case because discourse is often cast as intolerant or phobic
Jeff was probably not asking what “sacred cow” means; more likely the question was asking in what way polyamory is a sacred cow of EA. I will grant that EA is more tolerant of most personal traits than society typically is, and therefore is more supportive of polyamory than other groups just by not being against it, but it’s not anywhere in any canonical EA materials, and certainly not a sacred cow. Plenty of EAs are criticizing it in this very thread.
This seems a bit obtuse. In any local EA community I’ve been a part of, poly plays a big part in the culture.
This is sort of true, but most of them are receiving a lot of downvotes. And this is the first time I’ve seen a proper discussion about it.
It literally is intolerant. Like if you are saying “we shouldn’t tolerate this in the community”, that just is intolerant.
Ok, fortunately that is not what I am saying.
Could you clarify what concretely you do want to happen, then, if not less tolerance of polyamory? What would be different, if polyamory was not a sacred cow? What are the possible conclusions we could come to after reflecting on this?
I don’t have a particular agenda about “what should happen” here. I’ve said we should scrutinize the ways that polyamorous norms could be abused in high trust communities. I’m not sure what the outcome would be, but I would certainly hope it’s not intolerance of poly communities.
I would readily agree that some—perhaps most—of these problems could also be solved by ensuring EA spaces are purely professional, but it does seem a bit obtuse to not understand that someone could feel more uncomfortable when asked to join a polycule at an EA meet up than simply being asked on a date.
I think an ideal outcome would to reduce the association between EA and poly—such that poly is not a major cultural touchstone within EA—while keeping EA a welcoming and respectful place for poly people.