I object to how closely you link polyamory with shitty behaviour. At one point you say this you are not criticizing polyamory, but you repeatedly bring it up when talking about stuff like the overlap of work and social life, or men being predatory at EA meetups.
I think men being predatory and subscribing to ‘redpill’ ideologies is terrible and we shouldn’t condone it in the community.
I feel more complicated about the overlap between social life and work life, but I take your general point that this could (and maybe does in fact) lead to conflicts of interest and exploitation.
But neither of these is strongly related to polyamory, polycules etc. I worry that you are contributing to harmful stereotypes about polyamory.
I agree with the take that there’s nothing inherently wrong in polyamory. I think what the author is highlighting is the practice of excusing shitty behavior under the guise of polyamory (the “Jedi mind tricks” they’re referring to). Impressionable people are convinced to override their intuitions about what a healthy and respectful intimate relationship looks like by people with more power that claim to have more advanced thinking about sex and pair bonding.
It’s not the author’s fault that polyamory is being co-opted this way, they’re merely the canary in the coal mine. There are further explorations outside of EA on how concepts of polyamory have been used for abuse, for example here: https://www.polyfor.us/articles/more-than-two-metoo-response
I agree with your sentiment that cultural power dynamics and bad behavior around work/life intermingling and polyamory should be disentangled.
I think the crux of OP’s argument is that she feels like poly EA men are more responsible for this cultural issue since she feels like they are more likely to make sexual advances and extend invitations that make her feel uncomfortable.
I object to how closely you link polyamory with shitty behaviour. At one point you say this you are not criticizing polyamory, but you repeatedly bring it up when talking about stuff like the overlap of work and social life, or men being predatory at EA meetups.
I think men being predatory and subscribing to ‘redpill’ ideologies is terrible and we shouldn’t condone it in the community.
I feel more complicated about the overlap between social life and work life, but I take your general point that this could (and maybe does in fact) lead to conflicts of interest and exploitation.
But neither of these is strongly related to polyamory, polycules etc. I worry that you are contributing to harmful stereotypes about polyamory.
I agree with the take that there’s nothing inherently wrong in polyamory. I think what the author is highlighting is the practice of excusing shitty behavior under the guise of polyamory (the “Jedi mind tricks” they’re referring to). Impressionable people are convinced to override their intuitions about what a healthy and respectful intimate relationship looks like by people with more power that claim to have more advanced thinking about sex and pair bonding.
It’s not the author’s fault that polyamory is being co-opted this way, they’re merely the canary in the coal mine. There are further explorations outside of EA on how concepts of polyamory have been used for abuse, for example here: https://www.polyfor.us/articles/more-than-two-metoo-response
I agree with your sentiment that cultural power dynamics and bad behavior around work/life intermingling and polyamory should be disentangled.
I think the crux of OP’s argument is that she feels like poly EA men are more responsible for this cultural issue since she feels like they are more likely to make sexual advances and extend invitations that make her feel uncomfortable.