It took me a while to realize that I wasnāt offering my baby to young men because I didnāt perceive them as good/āexperienced with children, but that the reason they werenāt experienced with children is that nobody hands them babies. So Iāve tried to offer her to a group of people in general (āIf anybody wants to hold Lily, sheās availableā) without either pinning down the women or excluding the men.
If you donāt like being the default childcare provider (I wouldnāt!), this seems like a good conversation to have with the group. I bet a lot of people havenāt noticed the dynamic.
Thatās a good point. Though as a guy I generally feel it would be seen as weird for me to request to hold someone elseās baby, especially if there are a bunch of girls around. As such I normally end up missing the opportunity, even though Iād like to.
Take the opportunity! As a girl, itās not that I WANT to take the child, itās that other people rarely step forward, and I think the parents deserve some time to participate.
Itās totally not weird for a guy to take the baby. Children are pretty hardy. Youāre unlikely to break one. Parents are usually pretty expert at calming their kids down, so if something DOES happen, you have a parent right there.
(Note: Currently Iām the nanny to the only child who ever comes to meetups, and Iām fine with being the person responsible for taking THAT SPECIFIC baby for a bit, because I know Iām going to have a much easier time with him than anyone else. My comments are in regards to other instances.)
Thanksāthatās a good point.
It took me a while to realize that I wasnāt offering my baby to young men because I didnāt perceive them as good/āexperienced with children, but that the reason they werenāt experienced with children is that nobody hands them babies. So Iāve tried to offer her to a group of people in general (āIf anybody wants to hold Lily, sheās availableā) without either pinning down the women or excluding the men.
If you donāt like being the default childcare provider (I wouldnāt!), this seems like a good conversation to have with the group. I bet a lot of people havenāt noticed the dynamic.
Thatās a good point. Though as a guy I generally feel it would be seen as weird for me to request to hold someone elseās baby, especially if there are a bunch of girls around. As such I normally end up missing the opportunity, even though Iād like to.
Take the opportunity! As a girl, itās not that I WANT to take the child, itās that other people rarely step forward, and I think the parents deserve some time to participate.
Itās totally not weird for a guy to take the baby. Children are pretty hardy. Youāre unlikely to break one. Parents are usually pretty expert at calming their kids down, so if something DOES happen, you have a parent right there.
(Note: Currently Iām the nanny to the only child who ever comes to meetups, and Iām fine with being the person responsible for taking THAT SPECIFIC baby for a bit, because I know Iām going to have a much easier time with him than anyone else. My comments are in regards to other instances.)