It all matters. The conditions they were raised in matter, the killing of an animal who does not want to die matters. Construct for me a hypothetical where I have to pick between an animal that suffered and then was killed, or an animal that had a good life and then was killed, and I will pick the latter. Add a third choice where no animal need die, and I’ll pick that one every time it is available.
You should think about meat eating this way: that whether or not killing an animal or causing lots of unexpected suffering is your conscious objective, you know with a substantial certainty that those results will ensue. Because you act knowing the certainty of the consequences, you are responsible whether or not the consequences are your intended objective. This is a common standard we use to determine intent in the criminal justice system.
Congratulations!!!