Unfortunately when I first joined EA and went vegan I would have been more judgmental but now I think I understand where you’re coming from.
My own anecdote: I have an antisocial hamster. He doesn’t like being held or pet, and would be happiest with minimal human interaction. There is no reason for me to be so emotionally attached to him — he was given up by his previous owner, but isn’t charismatic / affectionate like dogs and cats. Despite this, I adore him. I’ve built him the best home I can, as large & interesting as possible, for hundreds of dollars. I’ve taken him to the (expensive) exotic vet ASAP when he needs it so he can be maximally comfortable.
Most people buy hamsters for $20 and let them spend their whole lives in crappy plastic cages. I could have easily have either not sought him out, or after getting him, given him only “standard U.S.” levels of care. I don’t have a good theory for why he deserves hundreds of dollars worth of herbs and bedding and moss when basically any other use of my money would be more effective at reducing animal suffering. I will accept it’s basically unjustifiable. But whatever the me-separate-from-my-morality is — the non-consequentialist bits of squishy human reasoning — that me would be deeply emotionally harmed by harming the little dude.
My best answer is just that my hamster is part of the warm fuzzy budget, not the utilon budget.
Just wanted to chime in with my own random two cents. Lots of empathy to you, and best wishes with Tlalok. Even if it’s not maximally moral, I am glad to live in the same world as people like you.
Just out of curiosity — why Latin and Greek? The only people I know that studied those two languages (+ Hebrew) did so for religious reasons, and have derived very interesting insights as a result.
Also, welcome! :-)