Great post! I’ve also experienced similar things during my time with EA. I think there are several ways to approach the issue of self-worth:
Its important to realize that EA is not the same as utilitarianism and therefore does not suffer from the problem of demandingness (this is also discussed in the latest 80K podcast with Benjamin Todd). EA does not prescribe how much of resources we should share, only that the ones we do share should be distributed in an effective way.
Unfortunately there is a tendency in EA to undervalue “small” contributions (i.e. those made by care workers, nurses, GPs etc). I think we need to realize that every contribution people can make to the common good is good no matter how small. I don’t think that someone who saves less than one life in expectation should feel any worse than people who saves thousands or millions of lives. In any case, I wouldn’t go around telling people that they should feel worthless if they are not working on something super important for humanity (if that was the case we’d need to reach more than 99% of humans on earth to tell them that they are worthless). This is clearly an absurd position, so why should we be telling ourselves that?
I agree with most of the benefits, but think that the “employees may freely choose to leave” part may be somewhat contentious. People need money to survive, and one argument that is often brought forward is that Amazon has driven a lot of smaller businesses out of the market, so that employees may not have that many choices of where to work any more.